i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish i was in the wii world.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
