Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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