you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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