I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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