Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
