I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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