so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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