True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
