tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
