he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
