I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
as a side note pls kill me
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