mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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