So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
