Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
God, I missed his penis.
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