Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
