We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
