Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
