No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
