Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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