Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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