I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
