guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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