There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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