He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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