Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
