i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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