also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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