I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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