How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
