If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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