Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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