Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
