Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
