Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
