You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
