A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
