I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
