Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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