I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
