He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
