Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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