There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
