the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well I just put wine in my tea
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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