You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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