Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
