STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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