I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
