So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
As shirtless as possible
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
