I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
