why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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