im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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