you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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